Thursday, August 18, 2011

Stuff I Never Thought I'd Be Doing Today

-Attending a slightly belated birthday party thrown in my honor by an assortment of LEGO Star Wars figures and my old Dawn dolls.

- Watching said toys boogie to the "Episode II" soundtrack. (Orange fringed minidresses go surprisingly well with John Williams.)

- Reading the dress-code demands made of the guests at the Kardashian wedding.

- Wondering if any of the invitees will have the courage and self-respect to say, "I can't wear any color but black or white? Screw it - I'm showing up in hot pink and having a cameraman ready to videotape me getting booted out."

- Seeing my byline twice in a health newsletter.

- Getting a cryptic reply email and wondering if it's actually a nicely-dressed rejection.

- Engaging in an hour-long lightsaber duel against the resident Jedi Master.

- Being informed that I possess mad lightsaber skills.

- Asking my children to clean their rooms and hearing nothing but "Not now" - then witnessing their 180 when offered the chance to play with the neighborhood kids.

- Giving the Starving Ethiopian Children speech in response to various complaints that dinner contained such horrible ingredients as rice and peas. I have officially become THAT Mother. Heaven help us.

- Hearing my son say, "I have a bad feeling that my life is going to explode" and wondering when he suddenly turned 50.

- Spending all day with my kids, then oddly missing them during the brief time I was away from them tonight._

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